If you are single, alone and pathetic this evening (not that I'm implying being single makes you pathetic, or anything. Hallmark is doing that.) then here are a few suggestions on how to have just as much fun as all those lovers and darlings on this, Saint Valentines Day. Arguably the most important holiday of the calender year.
Remeber, these are only suggestions. Feel free to apply liberal helpings of alcohol, chocolate and icecream whenever possible.
Movie marathon
Can’t face going out into the ether surrounded by courting couples and PDA taken to the extreme, tonight? Easy solution: Order take out, buy in much junk food, and crack open a beer or bottle of wine, then settle in for the night. Stuck for movie choices? Here are some ideas.
Now I know us single girls are almost culturally obligated to break out the Dirty Dancing/Ghost double bill on this most sacred of holidays, but for a Patrick Swayze night with a little more kick, I recommend doubling up on Roadhouse and Point Break. Don’t try to tell me the love shared between Bodie and Johnny Utah doesn’t leave Molly and Sam in the dust!
If some Swayze awesome isn’t to your tastes, some other perfect alternative VD movie choices might be:
The Evil Dead Trilogy. Yep, whether they’re being turned into demonic harpies, pulled into a vortex of evil, or just viciously attacked by a tree, poor ‘Ash’ Williams just doesn’t seem to have much luck with the ladies. However, watching Bruce Campbell doing battle with a host of malevolent entities over the course of three films (from horrific, to amusing, to hilariously bizarre) is a grand way to spend any evening, romantic or otherwise.
“You told me you loved me.”
“That was just pillow talk, baby”.
Classic romance.
Bonus: follow it up with Drag Me To Hell.
If you are feeling properly romantic, or in a sentimental mood, those choices possibly aren’t for you. In which case I recommend going for some good old fashioned love stories. Specifically a True Romance/ WALL – E double bill. A strange pairing, perhaps? But you can’t tell me that Clarence and Alabama, WALL-E and EVE don’t embody the kind of old fashioned romance and true love we’re all supposed to looking for – even robots and hookers can have a happy ending. Guaranteed to leave you feeling warm and fuzzy, and all choked up at the same time.
Get gaming
Maybe tonight isn't the night for passive viewing. Break out your console (s) and get competitive! If you are fortunate enough to have friends, any Wii fit. Wii sports or Mario Kart contest (mixed with a healthy dose of alcohol) is always entertaining.
Feel like venting some aggression response to the fact that you're spending International It Sucks to be Single Day alone? Try playing some Halo. Once those 14 year old eejits start yelling 'hacks' and 'GAY!' into your ear, you'll have a healthy target for all that pent up anger. It's a shooter: shoot!
Tetris is always a reliable option for those of you who'd rather lose themselves in a world of menial triviality for a few hours. Never let the Tetris Gods win - keep going. Remember: you can always do better.
If you want your social life to have a bit more pop, why not try MMORPGing? Sceptics may scoff, but if ever there was a night for trying out that WoW free trial, surely it's now? After all, if you're in contemplating gaming alone on St Valentines day, can you really sink any lower? Besides, anyone who says they wouldn't rather be a Night Elf Druid, with the power to turn into a freaking great BEAR is lying! Join the online party, guy!
Food is Good
If you fancy a more active pass time, get thee to a kitchen. Now is the time to cook all those complicated and indulgent dishes you've only seen on the cover of cooking books. Maybe if you get real good at it, your hooked up mates will let you cook for them next year.
Competition is healthy, and nothing is healthier than a good old fashioned eating contest! Not got anyone to compete against? Well, setting new personal records is the most rewarding challenge of all.
If all else fails...
...and we really aren't having fun yet, you can always ruin everyone else's night.
Take yourself off to one of the fanciest eateries in town, and sit at a table for 2. Alone. Order wine and 2 glasses, and then spend the next few hours watching the door, looking gradually sadder as the night wears on. If a waiter asks you to order, say "No thanks. They'll be here in a minute.", nod at the empty place opposite, and then smile in the direction of a suitably loved up couple. A few hours of this and all anyone will be able to think about is how sad it is for you, thus ruining any romantic mood previously set. If you look pathetic enough, you may even get free bread out of the deal! Sweet.
Can't afford the meal ticket? A similar effect can be created by sitting in the back row of the cinema alone, softly crying into your bucket of jumbo popcorn.
Go forth, and spread the cheer!!!
Happy Valentines Day, one and all!
x
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