The Pancake Day Movie Event

A lot of people have been commenting on the lack of 'Pancake Day' movies there are, given that there seem to be movies for almost every other holiday. I say, rather than complaining about it, why don't we set some wheels in motion, people? Start pitching!

Here are a few I think could bring in big bucks at the pancake weekend.

The ridiculous Rom-com:

Jeff is a bit of a loser. Not good at sports, not especially handsome, and all the social skills of a hamster in anhiphillactic shock - he's never really found his 'niche' in life.

After being fired from the latest in a long line of dead ends jobs, Jeff finds himself working for peanuts in 'Old Man Joe's Pancake Palace'. The only other staff member is Joe himself, who is mad. Jeff has reached rock bottom. How does he ever expect to sleep with the beautiful and popular Paulina now?

Turns out: Jeff is damn good at making pancakes. Vowing to put Joe's back on the map, Jeff build one of the greatest Pancake Empires the small town of Blooming Great Vally has ever seen. Things are going so well, that the mayor declares that the next Shrove Tuesday will be a festival to honor Jeff's successes. Paulina admits to Jeff that she has fallen in love with him, and the two become entangled in a steamy series of romantic encounters. But being with Paulina seems to have cost Jeff his one skill - he find that he cannot make pancakes anymore!

Jeff, who by this stage has become a father figure to Joe, has his entire future riding on the upcoming pancake festival. Joe has to make a choice between scoring repeatedly with the woman he has lusted after for years, and making the best damn pancakes the world has ever seen:

Pancake Day!


The horror/gross out comedy:

Timmy has always had a weight problem. Fat baby, fat teenager, and now he's one hell of a fat man. But that's OK. He's always said he's rather be happy than thin.

Of course, that's a lie. When a keen scientist buddy of his invents a new super-slim drug, Timmy is first to jump on that band wagon. And it works. It works fantastic. Timmy is thin, fit, healthy and damn sexy. Finally, he is able to bed any woman he wants, wear any outfit he wants, jump on any bouncy castle he wants - with no negative side effects. Fired up by Timmy's success, the drug is pushed through and marketed world wide to critical acclaim. Timmy and his scientist mate are rich!

Sadly, there was one variable his scientist friend hadn't accounted for: maple syrup. In small quantities it does no serious damage, but eat enough of it and it reacts with the drug to form a reaction which causes the victims to gain weight at an alarming rate, turn into a crazed killing machine, then have their stomach explode. What's worse, anyone hit by the intestinal residue automatically becomes infected with the reactive substance and is a ticking time bomb.

With the Pancake Day, the biggest maple syrup selling day of the year, just around the corner, Timmy is in a race against time to save not just himself, but all mankind - even if it means losing the best sex he ever had.

Fat Tuesday!

For the awards contenders:

Mary is a good Catholic girl, growing up in 'Oirland' in the early part of the twentieth century. Raised by an overbearing father, a beaten down but obedient mother, and schooled by nuns, Mary has lead a sheltered existence. In a world where anything not endorsed by the bible is the most wretched of sins, she is trying to find some meaning before her marriage to the tyrannical Joe.

It is here, on the day before Ash Wednesday and the Catholic time of penance and reflection, that she meets Patrick. Orphaned son of a traveller, he is everything Mary is not: outgoing, adventurous, sexual. Through him, Mary learns about a world she never dreamed existed. A world where the sensual overrules the sin and the only word is 'yes'. But these new and dangerous awakened emotions in Mary put her at odds with her family, her betrothed, and the entire institution she has grown up with. Can one day of indulgence bring damnation, or freedom?

Shrove Tuesday.

The B-movie sci-fi/horror:

Everybody loves pancakes, right? Everybody that is, except for Julie. Having come to terms with this affliction years ago, Julie leads a relatively normal life. The only exception being that one day a year when pancakes are mandatory, but then "she just eats tortillas, and no one knows the difference".

But this year, some is very different. 'Ma Koko's Pancake Batter' is all the rage and seems to be driving everybody crazy. Literally. Julie begins to notice strange behaviour from her friends and family as they become obsessed with the delicious new product now filling supermarket shelves.

Further investigation reveals that 'Ma Koko' is actually an evil alien overlord, intent on controlling mankind through brainwashing pancake batter. Julie, as the only pancake hater in existence, is now the only person who can see through her plan and save humanity from certain destruction. But with Pancake Tuesday just around the corner, and an army of brainwashed pancake fiends in her way, can Julie face up to her pancake issues and send these alien SOB's back where they belong before this wonderful holiday is ruined forever?

One will fight, all will remember: Pancake Tuesday.



There, now. I've done my part.

In the mean time, I shall watch Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs and that can be my Pancake Day movie. Better suggestions?

Happy eating.

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